14 October 2010
10 October 2010
I am a Nurse, and will ALWAYS be.
Dear Lord,
As you already know, when I was young my parents and relatives would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I used to answer "to be a doctor" all the time. Of course, my relatives were glad and amazed they actually looked forward to me becoming one.
As I grew up and becoming more knowing of what's going on in my own life, I became more aware of what I want to do. There are times when I thought of becoming a teacher. Or a journalist. I even thought of becoming a nun so I could go to Rome (that's my life long dream by the way, of course you know that as well).
Although I know I am able to do any of these careers, there's always part of myself who wants to be in a hospital. When my Aunt Virgie was hospitalised due to breast cancer, I volunteered myself to hand in cotton to her doctor every time he cleaned the pus that came out from her breast. When my cousin Cyril was admitted for a gun shot, I asked my parents if I could go so I can be in the hospital.
And every time I'm there, I am always happy.
I used to open the encyclopedia Uncle Greg gave me. My favorite page would be the piece of a plastic thingy with those weird little labels of the human parts. That time, I thought of becoming a brain surgeon. How cool is that?
Then comes high school. Especially the part when you have to put your name and what will you going to be after four years. For some reason, I put "to become a nurse."
Getting into college, especially nursing wasn't easy. During fundamentals of nursing classes, we had to define and explain what nursing is.
Nursing is a vocation. By then I understand. By then I knew why all those years, something or someone is dragging me to do it. You were calling me. You were calling me to become a nurse. You were calling me to become your people's carer. You were calling me because you wanted me to be one.
And I saw some signs. No, heaps of signs. Signs that you really wanted me to become a nurse.
You helped me survived my four years in college. My first school kicked me out because I didn't meet the standard nursing grade of one subject. I managed to get a decent school though, and I graduated. However, it was four years of a roller coaster ride with the Bursar's Office which was sick and tired of giving me promisory notes for I was not able to pay tuition on time. Almost four years of taking exams alone since the rule was "No pay, no permit. No permit, no exam." I managed to graduate, even though I had the most obnoxious and violent boyfriend on earth. I wasn't able to attend the most important ceremony a nurse could attend to - The Pinning Ceremony. I didn't have my caduceus pin. I didn't have my nurses' ring. I was so mad at our Dean that up until now, I can still feel that horrible feeling every time I remember my classmates had their rings and pins and I did not. But then, I was grateful I graduated.
Here goes the exam. Another sign. I didn't get the chance to review for the exams that well. But I passed. Because I asked and requested for you to let me pass. Because I knew you wanted me.
I passed and have my license for almost 4 years now. In fact, it will expire on 28/11/2010. After getting my license, I was hoping that I could actually work and fulfill my calling. But I did not. I gone through a lot of job types, but I guess that was alright. I was still hoping that there will be a way for me to become a practicing nurse again.
Then You let me meet the most wonderful person in the world. You made him as an instrument to be here in this country with wonderful people. Most importantly, You made him as a way for me to become a nurse again.
I have faith in You. It's taking time for me to become a Nurse once again, but I know I will be.
Cos I know you believe in me, and I believe in You.
As you already know, when I was young my parents and relatives would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
I used to answer "to be a doctor" all the time. Of course, my relatives were glad and amazed they actually looked forward to me becoming one.
As I grew up and becoming more knowing of what's going on in my own life, I became more aware of what I want to do. There are times when I thought of becoming a teacher. Or a journalist. I even thought of becoming a nun so I could go to Rome (that's my life long dream by the way, of course you know that as well).
Although I know I am able to do any of these careers, there's always part of myself who wants to be in a hospital. When my Aunt Virgie was hospitalised due to breast cancer, I volunteered myself to hand in cotton to her doctor every time he cleaned the pus that came out from her breast. When my cousin Cyril was admitted for a gun shot, I asked my parents if I could go so I can be in the hospital.
And every time I'm there, I am always happy.
I used to open the encyclopedia Uncle Greg gave me. My favorite page would be the piece of a plastic thingy with those weird little labels of the human parts. That time, I thought of becoming a brain surgeon. How cool is that?
Then comes high school. Especially the part when you have to put your name and what will you going to be after four years. For some reason, I put "to become a nurse."
Getting into college, especially nursing wasn't easy. During fundamentals of nursing classes, we had to define and explain what nursing is.
Nursing is a vocation. By then I understand. By then I knew why all those years, something or someone is dragging me to do it. You were calling me. You were calling me to become a nurse. You were calling me to become your people's carer. You were calling me because you wanted me to be one.
And I saw some signs. No, heaps of signs. Signs that you really wanted me to become a nurse.
You helped me survived my four years in college. My first school kicked me out because I didn't meet the standard nursing grade of one subject. I managed to get a decent school though, and I graduated. However, it was four years of a roller coaster ride with the Bursar's Office which was sick and tired of giving me promisory notes for I was not able to pay tuition on time. Almost four years of taking exams alone since the rule was "No pay, no permit. No permit, no exam." I managed to graduate, even though I had the most obnoxious and violent boyfriend on earth. I wasn't able to attend the most important ceremony a nurse could attend to - The Pinning Ceremony. I didn't have my caduceus pin. I didn't have my nurses' ring. I was so mad at our Dean that up until now, I can still feel that horrible feeling every time I remember my classmates had their rings and pins and I did not. But then, I was grateful I graduated.
Here goes the exam. Another sign. I didn't get the chance to review for the exams that well. But I passed. Because I asked and requested for you to let me pass. Because I knew you wanted me.
I passed and have my license for almost 4 years now. In fact, it will expire on 28/11/2010. After getting my license, I was hoping that I could actually work and fulfill my calling. But I did not. I gone through a lot of job types, but I guess that was alright. I was still hoping that there will be a way for me to become a practicing nurse again.
Then You let me meet the most wonderful person in the world. You made him as an instrument to be here in this country with wonderful people. Most importantly, You made him as a way for me to become a nurse again.
I have faith in You. It's taking time for me to become a Nurse once again, but I know I will be.
Cos I know you believe in me, and I believe in You.
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