My Opinion: Justice is, and will be, forever IMPARTIAL

So I was watching the tele and reading news as well and the topic was about the Vizconde Massacre verdict. According to the news, the accused Hubert Webb and others were not guilty beyond unreasonable doubt. Whew! Nosebleed, too technical. Anyways, of course the family is happy since after 15 years or so, (some newscasters said 19 years, so I don't know which one's true) "justice saved them." If we look at the side of the Vizconde's side, justice is unfair.

Was it ever fair though?

I am not familiar about the Vizconde Massacre case, more so, the prosecution and all that, so I am not in the position to say who's telling the truth or who's lying. That's not my point though. I'm kinda using the Vizconde case because it's timely. Anyway, the point is (and I have been longing to make my point about this), justice can never be fair.

You know that weighing scale with the blind -folded lady? One of the side should tip over. Cause most of the time, and I mean maybe all the time, justice is just a cliche. As what I've said before, and this is my original line by the way, "Di talaga pantay ang hustisya, saan ka man sa mundo, lalo na't my partidong dehado." Because this is my line, I strongly believe in it! Hey, this is my opinion, so if you have your own opinion, write it in the "comments" section :D

You might probably wonder why this is my stand. Well it's simple. After the trial, a verdict will be released. The winning team (I'm not sure if I used the right term here, but you get what I mean) rejoices and will say the justice speaks the truth. The losing party (there you go, "party" is the right term), especially the plaintiff or complainant, is devastated thus expressing that justice is impartial. Same concept the other way around. Let's say Webb's party was proven guilty and Vizconde family won, the Webb family will probably think justice is unfair and Vizconde's will salute the justice system. By the way, let me clear with this one, I am not focusing on Webb - Vizconde case. I honestly feel sorry for the Vizconde's.

So your assignment is to apply my theory in relation to the Vizconde Massacre case, Hayden Kho vs. Katrina Halili case, or any other legal cases you know. Let me know if I am wrong or not.

Two faces of justice system lang yan. By the way, I'm pretty sure it doesn't only happen in the Philippines, it happens all over the world , basta may kaso.

Math Can Be Boring, Until....

My hubby and I decided to watch late night show. While watching, he started to mess around and I started counting so he'll stop. But instead of stopping, he started counting with me.

Me: Isa
Hubby: Dalawa (with Aussie accent)
Me: Tatlo
Hubby: Apat
Me: Lima
Hubby: Anim
Me: Pito
Hubby: *Very long pause** Siyam!

He can't just count in Tagalog. Spare him.

Decada de los 90 : Nothing beats the 90's

I don't know if I did the title right but basically, the message I wanna convey is how I feel every time I remember life during the 90's.

As I was watching Natalie Imbruglia's Torn (I got curious how she looked before compared to her glamorous look today as she's one of the judge of Australia's X-Factor), I felt a sudden surge of 1990's nostalgia. I suddenly remember the fashion, the trendy anime shows (Fushigi Yuugi! Yay!) and most of all, the songs that touched my life -- especially my high school life.

The song Torn was followed by Vanessa Carlton's Thousand Miles, then M2M's songs and now S Club 7. Name the 1990 songs, I've listened to it again.

I thought of documenting this feeling, although it's really hard to put in writing, because I want to remind myself someday that I never forgot the feeling when I was young. I wanted to remember how I related myself to the love songs I used to sang, especially when I used to see my crush when I was in high school. Or watch teenage movies and imagine I was one of them. Or rather imagine that I could dance or sing like Britney or Christina. I wanted to make sure that I'll never forget the urge I had to meet Hanson Brothers or the Moffats.

I wanted to remind myself that I was once young and silly, and I dreamt of being in a world different than mine.

Most importantly, I wanted to have this notes so when I grow old, I can show this to my granchildren and they will say, "Granny's cool, though she's vintage."

everything, everyday: I am a Nurse, and will ALWAYS be.

everything, everyday: I am a Nurse, and will ALWAYS be.

I am a Nurse, and will ALWAYS be.

Dear Lord,

As you already know, when I was young my parents and relatives would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I used to answer "to be a doctor" all the time. Of course, my relatives were glad and amazed they actually looked forward to me becoming one.

As I grew up and becoming more knowing of what's going on in my own life, I became more aware of what I want to do. There are times when I thought of becoming a teacher. Or a journalist. I even thought of becoming a nun so I could go to Rome (that's my life long dream by the way, of course you know that as well).

Although I know I am able to do any of these careers, there's always part of myself who wants to be in a hospital. When my Aunt Virgie was hospitalised due to breast cancer, I volunteered myself to hand in cotton to her doctor every time he cleaned the pus that came out from her breast. When my cousin Cyril was admitted for a gun shot, I asked my parents if I could go so I can be in the hospital.

And every time I'm there, I am always happy.

I used to open the encyclopedia Uncle Greg gave me. My favorite page would be the piece of a plastic thingy with those weird little labels of the human parts. That time, I thought of becoming a brain surgeon. How cool is that?

Then comes high school. Especially the part when you have to put your name and what will you going to be after four years. For some reason, I put "to become a nurse."

Getting into college, especially nursing wasn't easy. During fundamentals of nursing classes, we had to define and explain what nursing is.

Nursing is a vocation. By then I understand. By then I knew why all those years, something or someone is dragging me to do it. You were calling me. You were calling me to become a nurse. You were calling me to become your people's carer. You were calling me because you wanted me to be one.

And I saw some signs. No, heaps of signs. Signs that you really wanted me to become a nurse.

You helped me survived my four years in college. My first school kicked me out because I didn't meet the standard nursing grade of one subject. I managed to get a decent school though, and I graduated. However, it was four years of a roller coaster ride with the Bursar's Office which was sick and tired of giving me promisory notes for I was not able to pay tuition on time. Almost four years of taking exams alone since the rule was "No pay, no permit. No permit, no exam." I managed to graduate, even though I had the most obnoxious and violent boyfriend on earth. I wasn't able to attend the most important ceremony a nurse could attend to - The Pinning Ceremony. I didn't have my caduceus pin. I didn't have my nurses' ring. I was so mad at our Dean that up until now, I can still feel that horrible feeling every time I remember my classmates had their rings and pins and I did not. But then, I was grateful I graduated.

Here goes the exam. Another sign. I didn't get the chance to review for the exams that well. But I passed. Because I asked and requested for you to let me pass. Because I knew you wanted me.

I passed and have my license for almost 4 years now. In fact, it will expire on 28/11/2010. After getting my license, I was hoping that I could actually work and fulfill my calling. But I did not. I gone through a lot of job types, but I guess that was alright. I was still hoping that there will be a way for me to become a practicing nurse again.

Then You let me meet the most wonderful person in the world. You made him as an instrument to be here in this country with wonderful people. Most importantly, You made him as a way for me to become a nurse again.

I have faith in You. It's taking time for me to become a Nurse once again, but I know I will be.

Cos I know you believe in me, and I believe in You.

Series of Stupid Events Part 1

So I was telling Hubby about the previews blog I wrote about the difference between IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY. He can't be bothered reading it so I told him it's about how stupid I was buying the wrong ticket.

And he reminded me this "Stupid Event"

We decided to lose weight cos we're gaining a ridiculously high amount of weight. Less than month ago, I signed up for gym membership near our place. This gym of ours have lots of branches and the one that's near our place doesn't have spa and sauna so we have to go to another branch, probably around 20 minutes drive away, whenever we want to just relax and not workout.

Since I'm working now, (btw, I got the job I applied for when the stupid ticket story happened) I can just go after work. So last Wednesday, we got ready and went to the spa and sauna branch.

(Home)

Lublub: Do u have everything ready?
Me: Yep. Towel, wallet, shorts.

When we got there.

Me: Lublub, I forgot my gym pass.
Lublub: **Reverse, drive home**

He didn't talk to me for several minutes.

Then he started his litany.

I just learned that IGNORANCE and STUPIDITY are two completely diffterent Things.

IGNORANCE. As per Wikipedia, it is defined as the state of being uninformed. Let's see how they define STUPIDITY. Well, it is defined as lack of intelligence, understanding, reason, wit or sense.

That's what I learned. Last 14 July, I had to go Melbourne CBD for an interview. Since I am living in a suburban area of Western Melbourne, I had to take the train going to the city (I can't really just depend on people at home, letting them drive me back and forth everytime I wanna go somewhere). The day before my interview, Hubby printed out a map of the city as my guide. I said, thanks! He asked me to study it so I know my way. I said, yep ok! He asked me if I know what ticket I should get. I replied, "Yeah, I know, it's Zone 1 ticket". Talking about stubbornness, I'm the queen! Hubby, being an Obsessive-Compulsive one sometimes, asked me again the day of my interview what ticket I should get. And you know the way I answered.

So I was in the train station alone. I was so proud of myself cos finally I would be going city alone. Yay, I'm a big girl.

Then the disaster of the day happened.

Inside the train, my phone rang. It was Hubby so I answered.

Hubby: Lublub, where are you now?
Me: Inside the train.
Hubby: Cool, did u get the right ticket. Can you read it to me?
Me: Of course. Hang on.. (Pause) uh-oh!


He was really furious! I got the wrong ticket. Instead of getting Zone 1, I got Zone 2.

SOooooo stupid! I even had the guts to tell him when I got home that I was new to it so he should spare me.

He wasn't convince it was ignorance. So what else could it be?

I want to be a NURSE. Again.

My Dialysis Family

I was watching an Australian show today called Nurses. I realized, I missed doing what I love to do. Well at least I used to do.

Attached is my Dialysis photo with my colleagues. Oh, I just miss doing this.

I Don't Mind Waiting

Another night has again passed by-- and night is the hardest part of the day for me. It’s when the busy pace of the city life slows down, number of buses and cabs in the streets lessen, and darkness fell over the city with only electricity illuminates the establishments around. And silence rings through my ears—the silence that slowly kills me. It’s when night time that I realize I’m alone. It’s when I remember you the most. It’s when I cry the most.

I just can’t get to sleep now. I’m not excited bout tomorrow or the next day because it’s gonna be another painful and sad day. It’s another day of waiting, another day of crying over those memories we had, and memories we could have spent together—if only you were here.

How many miles am I away from you? Hundreds? Thousands? Oh well, it doesn’t tell how far. I guess it’s just too far.

I wish you know how painful it is for me just imagining you out of reach. I long to touch you, I long to hold your hands, I long to feel your face through my fingers. But I just can’t. I wish to hug you and give you warm kiss on your lips whenever you’re somber.

But I think those are impossible. Well, not if you’re here. I think of those times, imagining I will wake up one morning and you’re beside me. It hurts me so much that those aren’t happening—that those are blurred. It kills me that I just can’t do anything to comfort you in times you’re not feeling any good and you’re down. I feel so helpless that I just can’t do anything to be with you.

All I can do is cry. Maybe I have to let it out, because if I don’t, I’ll be terribly ill. Pain and sadness are the meanest things that could possibly kill you—emotionally. And now I can feel I am being devoured by those beasty feelings.

The pain in waiting is really excruciating. It’s more painful than slitting my wrist (But I’m not gonna do it of course, I’ll be double dead if I wont be able to see you). Perhaps that’s the reason why I just can’t sleep at night. It’s just painful and hard to handle.

I’m tired now. I wish I could sleep now. I wish I could bear that pain, and wake up one morning seeing your calm face smiling next to mine. I wish I’ll be hearing those words I long to hear from you—SOON.

I wish that day would come, and we’ll never be apart. May I have peaceful nights and blissful mornings with you.

I don’t mind waiting though. I just miss you.

Past.How I am Loving It

How significant PAST is for you?

Well for me, it’s one of my teachers. PAST taught me a lot. It taught me how to look back and never forget where I came from, how to move on, and give me the best experience of learning.

A very special friend just sent me an SMS. I really liked how she appreciated our friendship—a friendship that was shallowly-cultivated from the past.

“… I still remember tayo magkasama at buddy nung 1^st year. Hehe, thanks din girl kasi I had met you along my way. God is really good indeed di ba? See how God works also, in our friendship, though in silence we both care for each other. Hehe, you’re still the special girl I knew since then. And God makes a way for us to cultivate more that friendship na masyado nabigyan ng lalim before. Hay, I miss high school girl, I miss my mom. At least I’m building my own now. With God’s help, masaya kami.

Her name is Che-Che. She’s one of the best person who taught me how to appreciate PAST as LIFE’s teacher. Our friendship back then wasn’t that deep. She used to be my contender in any ways, same as I was her rival in each and everything. We never had a chance to get to know each other in a deep and serious way (for reasons we only know). It’s just so good to think that even if we’re not that close and we didn’t started the friendship that deep; we have the rarest friendship on earth.

Why am I telling you these? Because Che-Che is part of my past and forever kong dadalhin—TODAY, TOMORROW, and FOREVER.

I remember how I asked my History teacher. He’s name is Mr. Matavia. “Sir, why do we have to study Rizal’s life? I can’t see any significance na pwede nating i-connect sa nursing eh.”

True. Til now I can’t figure out what’s the connection between Rizal’s life and nursing. Is it because Rizal was a doctor? I don’t think so.

Sir Matavia answered, “Because by studying history, we’ll know what to do in the present and the future.”

It’s important we’ll look back from our past. There are things in the past na mali—in a way na ginawa nating mali. We exactly know na mali yet we continued to do it. Sir Matavia’s point is: we need to determine the right thing to do para hindi na maulit yung pangit na nakaraan.

Every one has dark past. Even me. A lot. But Ahia Hubert once told me. Once lang but tumatak talaga sa utak ko. “LEARN FROM THE PAST, dahil kung di mo matutunang pag-aralan yung past mo, hinding hindi ka makaka-move on. You’ll forever be stucked.”

See how PAST can be a good teacher? I, personally, had a lot from the past. Every day that passes by becomes a past-and every past has lesson for us to learn. Just never regret something that made you happy.

Two Lives Together

Nothing fancy. No flowers. No gowns. Just you and me. And the celebrant of course.

June 26, 2010, 3:20 PM. Vows, rings, you and me.

I'm glad I have you, marry you and be with you for the rest of our lives.

No divorce, no any kind of separation. Screw it.

I love you.